Digging Deep

I go through very low moments. I wish I could've just been able to run the marathon and have a nice, redemptive ending to my year. Now I'm holding out hope for a miracle that I'll be able to run the half. 

My self esteem took a dive. Same with my sense of identity. I worked hard for this marathon. Here's the thing: I'm digging deep to get back. I'm not going to be my worst critic. I need to be the one to build myself back up. Face life as it comes.

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No miracles happened- I resorted to walking the half marathon. That seemed to be my best option to make the most of the situation. And I did have fun! I did bring my bike with me and got to ride through Cape Henlopen the evening of the race. That was uplifting. 

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I cannot deny disappointment. But, I take to heart the chance to embrace the present momentand make the most of it. Life does not have nice and tidy outcomes. There is beauty in things unfolding in a unique way. I am now curious as to what the future holds.